Panelists share tales of “growing up adopted”

November 09, 2011

By Jennie C., mother by adoption to one daughter

Celebrate Adoption kicked off National Adoption Month 2011 with a panel discussion featuring five adult adoptees. More than 30 participants attended the event held on Sunday, November 6.

To begin the discussion each of the five panelists shared their diverse stories. Sunita and Kiran were adopted from India as children, Teresa and Jay were adopted domestically as infants via closed adoptions, and Alex—also adopted as an infant—grew up in an open domestic adoption. The panelists generously shared their perspectives on adoption in general, as well as their own experiences. The audience joined their laughter and tears during the emotional discussion.

Some of the most memorable points for me were:

• Hearing Sunita and Kiran talk about the lack of information they have about their birth families, the circumstances that led to their adoptions, and how they’ve each processed the resulting emotions through the years. I was particularly moved by hearing Sunita talk about returning to India as a young teen and visiting the train station where she was found as a child.
• Listening to Teresa and Jay share their experiences searching for their birth families, and the support they did (or did not) receive from their adoptive families. It was also fascinating to hear about the new connections and relationships they since formed with their birth families.
• How reaffirming it was, as an adoptive mother in an open adoption, to hear Alex talk about how normal it felt to grow up in an open adoption with on-going, continuous contact with his birth mother.
• Panelists sharing how important it is for parents within a transracial/transcultural adoption to acknowledge physical differences, explore cultures of origin, and prepare children for the reality of how they will be perceived by the outside world.
• Seeing what a positive impact adoption has been in the panelists’ lives, despite the grief and loss that accompany it.

The panelists freely shared advice and answered several questions from the audience after telling their stories. The diverse audience included adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, foster parents, prospective adoptive parents, and family members of the panelists.

Written feedback from the attendees was overwhelmingly positive, with comments including “I love hearing from adult adoptees,” and “We think [the panel] was very informative. Would love to have this [workshop] again in the future with other adoptees.”

Thank you again to our wonderful panelists and their families for sharing their stories with all of us. I’m already looking forward to our next educational event, Celebrate Adoption’s annual transracial/transcultural workshop on Saturday, February 4, 2012, featuring speaker Rhonda M. Roorda, co-author of the Trilogy of Transracial Adoption: In Their Parents' Voices: Reflections on Raising Transracial Adoptees; In Their Own Voices:Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories; and In Their Siblings' Voices: White Non-Adopted Siblings Talk About Their Experiences Being Raised with Black and Biracial Brothers and Sisters.

Tags: adoptee , adoption , adoption support , adoptive family , adoptive father , adoptive mother , adoptive parent , birth father , birth mother , birth parent , birthmother , birthparent , cincinnati , domestic adoption , international adoption , Rhonda Roorda , transcultural adoption , transracial adoption , workshop

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Kevin Hofmann’s Presentation: Growing Up Black in White—A Brief Synopsis

March 01, 2011

By Nada H., mother by adoption to one daughter

On February 22, 2011, Celebrate Adoption welcomed Kevin Hofmann, author of “Growing Up Black in White,” to present our annual workshop on transracial/transcultural adoption.

Kevin shared his memories and offered his insights into the complexities and challenges of being a biracial (Caucasian/African American), adopted child raised by Caucasian parents. After beginning his presentation by recounting how a white family adopted a biracial infant during the civil rights movement of the 1960s in post-riots Detroit, Kevin kept an audience of 65 completely engaged, sharing both funny and tragic anecdotal stories of his childhood and growth into adulthood.

Kevin’s open and honest demeanor provided attendees with an opportunity to ask pointed and uninhibited questions about race, racism, family and adoption. Also in attendance were Kevin’s wife, two sons, and sister who also shared in the open discussion format, offering their own valuable insights to these challenging issues.

He helped the audience understand what transracially- or transculturally-adopted children might be feeling, but that they may lack the vocabulary—or are reluctant to—articulate those emotions to their adoptive parents. For that reason, Kevin encourages adoptive parents of children of another race or culture to maintain an open, ongoing dialogue about cultural and racial differences.

For me, one of the most thought provoking, “A-ha!” moments came when an attendee asked Kevin why he seemed to connect more with his African American side rather than with his Caucasian side, despite being raised by white parents. His answer was “I didn’t know I had a choice”. He went on to explain that when you are a child of color, society places a color value on you that Caucasian children typically don’t deal with.

Personally, I took three major points away from this workshop:

• First, don’t tell your child that color doesn’t matter, because it does.
• Second, don’t let your child feel victimized by racism, but rather be honest with them that it exists and teach them how to deal with it in a way that’s appropriate for their age.
• Third, parents of biracial children have a responsibility to seek out positive relationships with people and families of that child’s race not only for their child’s benefit, but also for their own.

Overall, Kevin received rave reviews from the workshop’s attendees. Of the 36 completed evaluation forms received after the event, 72% strongly agreed, and 28% agreed, that the educational training increased their understanding of issues for children adopted transculturally/transracially, while 78% strongly agreed, and 12% agreed, that the session was relevant and valuable to their situation.

Comments included “I appreciated Kevin’s openness and candor,” “Kevin pointed out several ideas I never thought about, raising my understanding of upcoming challenges,” and “Great insight into the issues involved in being a transracial family.”

For more information about Kevin Hofmann, or about his book “Growing Up Black in White,” please click here.
 

Tags: biracial , Kevin Hofmann , transracial adoption , workshop

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